I crack me up. 

In terms of the style, I’ve had a number of people who distinctly dislike this piece — they find it a bit too abrupt and harsh.  The prose has a lot of sharp, hard edges — and it doesn’t want to be smooth and pretty.  That would make it seem less real — less in the moment, and more considered.  I like the style, because it’s easy to do action, and relatively easy to do anger and pain, but when I eventually get around to picking up Distance again, I’m probably going to have to unlearn a bunch of habits.

One thing I find really interesting — Tiergan seems to have “learned” the submissive role of a pup, in relation to other dogs — whining for mercy, not looking people in the eye, he knows he’s the bottom of the pack.

But when he’s alone — he takes action, sometimes brutally, has confidence and initiative.  He seems like he’s more than capable of asserting himself — so he’s really waiting for his opportunity to turn alpha dog.  It’s pretty amazing that you can accomplish that layered and nuanced a culture and personality, when you use such sparse, clean writing.  My creative writing teacher would have loved that you don’t over-write.

Glad to hear you’re enjoying it.  I do try to be pretty careful about the culture — it’s an important element for me.  I’m a little worried I haven’t managed to keep a consistent voice throughout, though — especially in the recent installments, now that I’m only writing once a week.  Let me know if you spot anything glaring.

Thanks!

Chris.

So far, I really like the way the pack is consistent with dog/wolf rules — Conlan can’t surrender his status as “in charge” unless Tiergan forcibly takes it.  His big brother, being First, is supposed to kick the crap out of him if he’s disobedient.  I love how they seem human, but are so driven by instincts and primal rules. 

The writing style is startling in its brief clarity.  You don’t waste words at all, and still manage to convey a lot of atmosphere.  Nice work.

I’ll be back tomorrow for more

Thanks for commenting!