Winter Rain, part 40

19 Responses to “Winter Rain, part 40”

  1. Odd encounter, that.  Whatever could it mean?  Perhaps we will all find out together.  :-)

  2. Sonja says:

    Definitely odd, though I wouldn’t say cliche, as you implied on your twitter.

  3. Biryl says:

    You are really good at leaving people on teasers.  I hope you know that.  I keep finding myself checking the page on days I know you don’t update and refreshing often even after you’ve posted your update on days that you do because I’m hoping for more. 

    Such a tease, but I really do enjoy your story.  I’m hooked.

  4. I implied nothing — I stated it.  ;-) 

    Anyway, I was a little concerned about the woman’s voice, but it is what it is, and I’ll not whine about this one.  Sometimes I really want the writing to work.  Last night, I just wanted it done.  Besides, this might go somewhere.

  5. Hi Biryl — thanks!  That’s wonderful to hear.  :-)

    Hmmm, I guess that makes me a bit sadistic, eh?

  6. Kunama says:

    The look of worry on her face doesn’t ease, but perhaps I can reassure her.  “I won’t stay long, if that makes you feel better . . . ‘just drop it off and go.”

    Seems you have an extra/missing ‘ in there.

  7. It’s intentional, though probably wrong.  It’s a slang convention — dropping the “I’ll” from the second part.  I put the apostrophe in to mark the contraction.  Again, probably wrong.  I’ll have to think about it some more.

  8. Vercin says:

    I would suggest removing the apostrophe. I frequently post in that more conversational speech where I don’t track sentence structure rigorously, but I can’t recall ever seeing someone who tried to make a more “written” document using a leading apostrophe like that to “make it ok”. It’s clear that you’re not omitting part of an outside quotation, so the ellipsis is sufficient to explain that he’s speaking and has naturally paused, then continued.

    Oh. And I finished up the story, liked it, was hungry for more, headed down to check out what interesting reactions people had in the comments . . . and ran smack into smug author :P If you’d been nearby irl I think you would have gotten punched.

  9. I’m easily swayed — two votes and it’s gone.  :-) 

    Now, which comment was the smug one?  I hadn’t intended smugness anywhere . . . .

  10. If you are referring to the very first comment, then that definitely wasn’t meant as smug.  This scene wrote itself.  I really have no idea what I’m going to do with it.

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